Father’s Day, for my neighbor Carlos, is not just a reunion with his three daughters, their spouses and his grandchildren. Carlos also takes a quiet moment to remember his own deceased father. The families gather in the backyard of his modest home in the Providencia neighborhood of Guadalajara, where they will enjoy beer and soda, and Carlos and his wife will prepare grilled meat and quesadillas amid laughter and music.

After an exchange of gifts, dads, moms and grandchildren will participate in a sack race or, if they can find the net, a game of badminton. They will exchange hugs, and sometimes sing along to a traditional song from Ana Gabriel or Natalia Lafourcade. The grandchildren usually bring homemade cards (store bought ones are expensive and typically in English). They will say, “Felicidades, abuelito.” The daughters and their husbands will present carefully wrapped, but usually inexpensive gifts: a wallet, tie, aftershave, a popular book or even a small bottle of tequila in a cloth pouch with a gold drawstring.

In previous years, a Father’s Day marathon — Carrera Dia del Padre — took place, though it was canceled this year. The mothers have also warned the grandchildren: “No abrazos!” No hugging grandpa this year. In fact, the daughters will plan their visits so that one group will leave as another arrives, to avoid being crowded together. Everyone will wear face masks.

As in the United States, Father’s Day in Mexico is celebrated the third Sunday in June. School is still in session in Mexico this month; the government in Mexico requires 200 days of attendance as opposed to 180 in the United States. Typically, events have been held at local schools the Monday following Father’s Day, but they have been canceled this year due to the coronavirus.

The neighborhood where we live is fairly upscale, but we have friends who live in working-class areas. There, the celebrations are mixed. In some homes, no father is present because he is “up north” working to earn more income for the family. Perhaps one-fifth of the families have no father at home. Although, over the past three years, more men have returned to Mexico than gone north. A phone call or a Skype session, with everyone gathered around, will suffice for those who can’t be at home. Among those at home, some listen to the country-style Norteña music, or the ballads of Marco Antonio Solis. Likely there will be barbecues instead of grilled meat. 

Father’s Day in Mexico is not as popular as Mother’s Day. Only a little more than 50% celebrate Father’s Day, as opposed to 78% for Mother’s Day. Kali Freels, in a blog post titled “Hallmark just doesn’t get it,” laments the limited choices of Father’s Day cards. Statistics from retailers and other sources indicate that only about 75% of families in the United States celebrate Father’s Day.

While many in Mexico still shop at local stores for presents, in the United States most sales for Father’s Day are online. Purchases for Father’s Day presents online have doubled in recent years. In spite of all that, the most purchased gift on both sides of the border is still — wait for it — the necktie. “Thanks, kids. Just what I need in my retirement!”