Toltec teachings: Do you live your life freely and according to your true self?
Don Miguel Cruz and sons’ on top of the Pyramid of the Sun.
I have been sitting in front of a white screen for a while, thinking about the Dawn of a New Dream retreat hosted by the Ruiz family back in 2018, cherishing the friendships I had made and reflecting on the lessons I had learned.
This is the second time I have visited Teotihuacan, and it seems like a whole new place. I guess I’m also a different person this time, and I definitely left with tools that helped me receive one of the greatest gifts one can give ourselves: the freedom to be who we really are.
“Nadie es profeta en su propia tierra” is what I told Don Miguel Ruiz, the day I met him. I was being honest, and maybe a bit rude. I had never heard about the four agreements or any of the Toltec teachings until I read “The Goddess Warrior” and attended the Gathering of the Creatives in Santa Fe, New Mexico, a few months prior.
At this magnificent event, everyone was talking about the Toltec teachings that Don Miguel Ruiz had simplified for the world. I was curious and wanted to learn more and gifted myself this retreat as part of my celebration for finishing my positional therapy certification.
The lesson I learned
Although I didn’t know what to expect from the retreat, I knew I was supposed to be there. In the beginning, my inner perfectionist was confused. I was judging most of the time because there was no minute by minute schedule like I had expected. Instead, everything was down to earth.
At one of the lectures, I had an aha moment when I heard Don Miguel Ruiz suggest using the word STOP to get your brain to stop creating self-sabotaging stories. This trick worked wonderfully. It helped me to stop judging and actually enjoy my stay at the birthplace of the gods.
The Dawn of a New Dream retreat was an epic event. I enjoyed myself and made good friends, but I felt like something was missing.
Here I was, 2,700 miles away from Teotihuacan, thinking I had only taken home one lesson (the “STOP” one) when, two months later, I randomly met one of the participants, and we instantly became soul sisters. The more we talked, the more lessons I learned. Two and a half years later, I’m still learning and trying to apply some of the Toltec teachings to my life.
The Five Agreements
According to Don Miguel Ruiz and his son Don Jose Ruiz, throughout our lives we make many agreements that go against ourselves and create needless suffering. The Five Agreements help us to break these self-limiting agreements and replace them with agreements that bring us personal freedom, happiness and love.
1. Be impeccable with your word.
Words matter. They can either bless or be hurtful to someone else or to the person you see in the mirror every morning. Self-destructive words only contaminate the way you think about yourself and greeting fear of judgment. You can, instead, learn to narrate a new and better story about yourself.
2. Don't take anything personally.
Every mind is a world. We all are going through something, and we interpret our desires and fears in a certain way. What people see about you is only a story they make for themselves. Most of the time, it can be a mirror of themselves, their fears and struggles. It’s an image of you, not the truth. Please be gentle to yourself and don’t take others’ opinions to heart. Instead, use Laverne Cox’s mantra: “What people think about me is none of my business.”
3. Don't make assumptions.
Truth or fiction? It’s easy to create a story in our heads about why someone acted a certain way or how the world is conspiring against us. Reduce or eliminate unnecessary worry and drama by focussing your attention on the actual truth. How many times do you catch yourself making false scenarios in your head and justifying the lies you tell yourself?
4. Always do your best.
How can you integrate the first three agreements into your life and actually live them? You do it by becoming a lifetime learner. You practice them as much as you can until you master them, by always giving your best.
5. Be skeptical, but learn to listen.
Use the power of doubt, and don’t believe everything you hear. Yet listen because it might be something you haven’t heard, or a missing puzzle piece in your journey.
What agreement seems most difficult to apply to your daily routine? Please comment below.
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